Do You Think This Is Good Advice For How To Handle Your In-Laws?

In one ear and out the other, yes them to death, but do what you want.Do You Think This Is Good Advice For How To Handle Your In-Laws?
NO.Do You Think This Is Good Advice For How To Handle Your In-Laws?
No! You are married to their child and therefore in their lives for the rest of your life. If you do not want to get along with them, then sure, use that pathetic advice. Otherwise, it's best to listen to what they say and if you have a problem with it, let them know (in a nice way of course). For example, if you don't like their parenting advice, tell them that you appreciate the advice but you read about something else you want to try, or that you want to try the way your parents did things.
Um, not really. And here's why:





After a while, if they're not stupid, they're going to catch on that you don't listen to one thing they say. Nobody likes to feel like a fool, and that's what you make people feel like if you just say yes to everything they say, and then do the exact opposite every time. While I believe in-laws need to back off at times and let their children sort out their own marriage issues, I also feel that they deserve a certain amount of input on things such as their grandchildren or family holidays. My future mother-in-law has what I would describe as a very different personality from my own, and I have a feeling that my child-rearing style will differ somewhat from hers in the future, but if she has some good advice for me, I'll definitely listen to it. However, if she has advice that conflicts with my own philosophy and I don't plan to do it her way, I'm going to have to tell her so- nicely, of course. I'd say something like, ';Thanks for letting me know what worked for you. If what I plan to do doesn't work out for some reason, I'm going to give your suggestion a try.'; That way, she feels like I listened to her, but she also knows that I want to try it my own way first. This can be applied to lots of situations: cooking, home decorating, child-rearing, etc. I really don't expect a lot of problems, though- I think my future MIL and I respect each other and can see how each other is important in my fiance's life, without overstepping boundaries.
A recent comment from my in-laws said it all......';We really didn't like you when we first met you. However we soon realized you were not being disrespectful by asking for advice then doing what you wanted, but rather gathering information to make your own decision. You weren't being mean or arrogant when you would joke ';have to give you something to talk about your DIL about!'; usually following a 'lively' conversation, but rather you had enjoyed the exchange of ideas and verbal sparring in a comfortable situation. I treated my in-laws as individual adult people and considered myself the same. 24 yrs later, we love, respect and appreciate each other. In a number of years, you will be a MIL.





Would you appreciate being treated the way you suggest or would you prefer to be treated as an adult. Don't forget, they have started at the same starting point your at now!
My future MIL can be pushy with her ideas. I always tell her that I will talk to her son when we get home. Then I tell him my opinion. We talk about it and he tells his mom about our decision. Sometimes we go with her ideas if it's good and sometimes we don't. And yes, sometimes we just go along to make her happy. But after a few years, she learned more about our taste and make better suggestions now. So I don't think it's a good idea to just say yes to them and ignore their opinion.
I'm not sure they would thank you for being a ';yes person.'; Be yourself, act responsibly, have an opinion, and show them some respect. We're all entitled to our own opinion and to do what we want and we must respect the fact that we're all individuals and have our own views on things. In laws have to respect that too!
I don't know.





I guess I'm one of those obnoxiously lucky girls who has an absolutely wonderful relationship with my future in laws, especially my MIL.





I treat them just like I do my parents, I even go stay at their house some weekends when my FH is out of town on business.





I think that you should work at the relationship with them, so that even if you aren't close, you won't ever feel like it is your fault.
yes and no. if you have difficult in laws and succeed in letting thing wash over your head then you must be doing something right. if you manage to make the peace and they start treating you with respect even better.





mine dont like me and don't want me around and think i am not good enough for FH. he on the other hand thinks i am too good for him. its really sad how difficult they are making both our lives.
YES! finally some one who understands.





IN LAWS will always be there and have some wacked out way of handling things,! my mother in law is a mess! but she thinks that she has the best advice on everything! her son is a grown A** man he can take care of his self!!!
No, that is rude and disrespectful to them. Don't think they won't know that you yes'd them and then went and did something different anyway. They would feel a lot better about your disagreements if you talked to them and explained why your opinions differ.
I would listen to what they say but it's up to you how to handle the situation.





Oh and i hate when people say you marry the family when you married your husband. So wrong!
no..when u get married REMEMBER U MARRY THE FAMILY.. its totally not worthy putting up with them if they are mean and rude (like tha lady on ';MONSTER N LAW';) cause they will make ur life hell....even tho u love ur partner
I listen to what they have to say out of respect then do what I think is right.
Unfortunately, that's how I'm going to have to handle my future M.I.L. So, yeah. :)
Respect them while maintianing what is right for yourself.
yep pretty much what I do when It comes to my in-laws.. Except with them... I don't answer the phone 75% of the time. hehe...good luck. :)
Not at all.


wouldn't you feel that your own parents deserved more respect that that from your fiance?